"The Wisest of Women Builds Her House...", (Proverbs 14:1) by Denise Johnson

"The Wisest of Women Builds Her House……..", (Proverbs 14:1). 

One of the most memorable and wonderful miracles in my life was the day of our wedding! It seems like it was yesterday when we exchanged wedding vows and our pastor's wife charged me with a scripture verse from Proverbs:14:1, "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down".  I was so excited when I heard those words! I couldn't wait to be all that God called me to be as a wife and mother! However, it wasn't too long after those words were spoken to me that I would oftentimes become discouraged, especially after having children.

Building my house required more than the physical duties I pursued, (i.e. cleaning, cooking), but rather the spiritual duties, (i.e. prayer, bible reading). Since it was somewhat of a challenge to read God's word when they were born, I asked my husband to purchase the bible on CD for my birthday, (this was before bible apps). :) So, every morning, I would listen to the bible while my children watched Sesame Street.  Though I was multitasking throughout the day, it encouraged me nonetheless.  When my husband returned home from work, I would "try" to wait at least thirty minutes to tell him about my day, while encouraging him at the same time. :)

Then, after dinner when everyone was "content", I would take a quick walk to re-energize, (Matthew 14:23). Taking time for yourself is of primary importance in caring for your home.  I am reminded of the times when my family and I would board an airplane; the flight attendant would always remind the adults, (in case of an emergency), to place the oxygen mask on yourself first before placing them on your younger ones. As a mom, this is a daily challenge for me, but by the grace of God, and sixteen years later, I am encouraged to press-on!

"I press toward the mark toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus", (Philippians 3:14).

One way God uses two-year olds

Dear Mom of Littles,

I have always wanted children.  Always.  From as far back as I can remember.  I was eager to help shape and mold a little life.  To raise a child who would be kind, considerate, loving, full of joy and most of all, full of Jesus!  I could hardly wait to see how God would use me in the life of my child.

What I did not see coming was how God would use my own child to speak into my heart, to draw me to Him, and (more often that I would like to admit) to chide me.

I could speak for days on the ways my children have taught me about God, about grace, about the unending love (and patience) of Jesus.  Today I am thinking particularly about a time that I was gently chided.

My oldest was around two years old and we were playing outside. She wanted to ride her little bike so we were in the front yard playing in the driveway.  She was having so much fun, but kept trying to venture into the street.  I kept scolding and bringing her back into the driveway to keep her safe.  We went through this little dance over and over again and I was getting so exasperated!  If she continued to disobey we would need to end the fun of playing outside and head back into the house.

I remember thinking, "If she would only listen to me I would not have to discipline her!".  And then it hit me.  Standing there as the parent, I could see the danger of my little one venturing out into the street.  But as a full-of-life, naive two year old, she could not. The rules I was insisting upon were there to keep her safe, not to ruin her fun or punish her needlessly.

It was in that moment that I could sense the Spirit moving in my heart.  God's voice is much the same:  Jen, if you would only listen to Me, to follow My commands, I would not have to discipline you.  My rules are for your benefit, not your harm.

This is a lesson I have been taught over and again (thank goodness for patience and grace!).  And this is just one way God used my two year old in my life.

One reason you might be tired

Dear Young Mom,

Do you feel tired?  Hahahahaha, I crack myself up.  Of course you do!  Many factors contribute to the universal exhaustion we all feel, and chief among them is that we don't sleep much at night anymore, due to little ones crying, nursing, having bad dreams, etc.

Even if you were to get a good night's sleep, though -- and don't you want to just shout "Hallelujah" on the mornings you wake up and realize NO ONE woke you up last night?? --  I bet you'd still be tired.  And here's one reason why:  you have more "needs" now than you did before you were a mom.

A diagram that got lodged in my brain sometime during the ol' school days was Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.  (My theory is that this diagram shows up in about 60% of all textbooks every written, so you may have seen it.)  To refresh your memory, it looks like this:

The theory basically states that you need to fulfill the needs at the bottom of the pyramid before you can start focusing on the ones above.  In other words, if you're starving, your esteem needs are really not your concern.

(I realize there are some problems with this theory and a lot of people don't like it, but just bear with me here)

What happens when you become a mother, though, is that this pyramid suddenly becomes a lot taller.  It looks something more like this:



There have been many days that I've been running around making sure everyone got fed and to their naps on time, and only realized at 12:30 that I had never even had breakfast!

Trying to attend to all of those rungs in the hierarchy is enough to make anyone tired.  And it's enough to make anyone feel very NEEDY.

One verse that I memorized early on in my years of motherhood was Psalm 40:17.  "As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me."  The Lord is thinking about you right now!  He knows all your needs -- and all your kids' needs -- and He will take care of you.

In fact, that's the next part of the verse:  "You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!"  He will not be late, but will carry you through even now, in your fatigue.  Yes, it can be a weary road and the needs may be great, but it's then that we get to see Him show up with even greater strength than we noticed before.  Our needs are greater -- but He's even greater than our needs!

Emotional roller coasters

Dear Young Mom,

Do your emotions get a work-out pretty much every day?  There is something about being a mom that brings this to a whole new level!

Here is something I wrote years ago when my kids were little:

What Do You Do When....

.... when you're already pretty ornery because the kids have been screaming and provoking each other all afternoon, and it's too rainy to send them outside.  Then you have a very frustrating dinner-making time because your husband is working all night and the kids are all hovering around the kitchen like helicopters seeking to destroy everything within reach with their rotor blades and you have to say, "no" or "stop" 532 times during the process...

.... and then you finally get dinner on the table, after explaining to your daughter for 153rd time that the placemats are supposed to match each other when she sets the table, and you all sit down to eat, and just as your 1-year old son starts his familiar refrain of "don't like beans, mama! don't like beans, mama! don't like beans, mama!" your daughter picks up her soft-shell taco and immediately drops all of the contents therein onto the floor? What do you do?

And then you look down and realize there are now numerous pieces of ground turkey, tomatoes, black beans, onions and cheese, all quickly being absorbed into the rug below the table.... what do you do? You figure vacumming or dust-busting will be gross, right? So you get the trash can and go down on your hands and knees to pick up every little piece? What do you say?

I won't repeat all of what I chose to say.... But I will summarize by saying that the theme of it was largely that all 3 of them were going to go to bed very early tonight.

But then what do you do when in the midst of your fuming and raving (assuming you're anything like me), your daughter starts saying in a very quiet, sweet voice, "I'm so sorry, Mommy. I'm sorry." And when you acknowledge that you hear her, she says, "I forgive you, Mama. I forgive you." What do you do?

And then when she gets sent to the other room to wait so she'll stop stepping on all the food particles while you get a spray bottle out, and you hear her amusing herself by repeating "... And the Word was with God, and the Word was God" (part of the verse she learned in class today), what do you think?

And then when your older son comes and gives you his last special piece of chocolate afterwards, and you realize it's because he feels bad that you were so angry (assuming you're anything like me), what do you do?

And then what do you do when you try to thank him and kindly offer it back, and he says, "But wouldn't this mean I don't have to go bed early tonight after all??" and you realize it was actually just a bribe?

Ah, motherhood. So many emotions in even a simple taco dinner.
***

I remember, young mom, that the days were intense -- and they still are!  The Holy Spirit is whispering to us in them all, using the moments to not just teach our children, but us as well.  Praise Him!